Mind-Body Connection 2: T2 article dated 4th May 2014

Ever wondered if it might be possible that the nagging cough and cold you have could be stemming from the emotional conflict you are suffering? Or that the masseur at the spa was right when she said " you have too much stress" when your shoulders started hurting as she massaged the area.

As far back as the end of the 19th century, American philosopher William James had remarked that 'no mental modification ever occurs which is not accompanied or followed by a bodily change'. The stage was set for new research into the effects of the mind on the body in 1975 with Robert Ader's discoveries. Ader, an American psychologist, successfully demonstrated that our body's immune responses could be modified by classical conditioning. Which means, there were connections between the brain and the immune system, and the mind could have a profound effect on the body's functions that were thought to be independent.

The view is supported by various new- age alternative medicine practitioners, who are coming up with different theories.

Louise L. Hay, the author of the best- selling book You Can Heal Your Life , believes that every disease stems from some negative emotion or thought. Often we are not even aware of these. She believes that by correcting these thoughts and emotions, the disease can be checked or reversed. According to her, for example, for spine- related diseases, the corresponding thought could be related to lack of support in life. A balancing thought or feeling of ' I am supported by life' can heal the problem. Similarly, a simple acne could be due to a thought related to ' not accepting oneself ', and a balanced thought like ' I love and approve myself ' could help improve the condition. Hay says that every person needs to be examined and understood to reach the emotional ' diagnoses' of the diseases. What she shares in her books are broad generalised guidelines.

Dr Ryke Geerd Hamer, a controversial medical practitioner and the founder of ' German new medicine', researched almost 15,000 cancer patients and found that the genesis of cancer always happens first on the emotional plane from a personal experience of an extremely brutal shock, a dramatic and acute conflict, experienced in loneliness and sensed by the patient as the most serious he has ever known.

Dr Hamer summed up his research with this sentence: " I searched for cancer in the cell and I have found it in the form of a wrong coding in the brain." Though the Swiss Cancer League describes Dr Hamer's approach as dangerous, as it creates a ' false sense of security', there are many takers for his approach all over Europe.

Psychologist Guang Yue, at Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Ohio, conducted a curious study which showed that just by focused thinking and trained visualisation, we can The Five Koshas Anandamaya Vigyanmaya Manomaya Pranamaya Annamaya

gain half the muscle strength as any regular gym- goer in the same amount of time.

As a concept, though, the mindbody connection has been around for thousands of years. Ayurveda, one of the most ancient practices of medicine, explains it as a harmony between the three doshas or humours, which are influenced by physical and psychological factors.

Yoga says that we all have five koshas or 'bodies' — annamaya kosha or physical body, pranamaya kosha or vital energy body, manomaya kosha or mental body, vigyanmaya kosha or knowledge body and anandamaya kosha or bliss body. These ' bodies' influence one another and influence our health — mental as well as physical. Other ancient healing modalities like acupuncture, acupressure and traditional Chinese medicine focus on the ' energy body' as the access point of our physical body.

Homoeopathy, too, recognises the psychological plane of diseases.

A renowned maxillofacial surgeon in Calcutta once told us while chatting that the moment he sees a tumour he ' knows' the social background, the mental make- up and domestic conditions of the person. According to him, they follow a pattern. The tumour for him is a window to his patient's mind and soul.

The connection between the mind and body is real. And perhaps it's time we took it seriously. If we really want to take care of our ourselves, we need to take care of our thoughts and emotions, not just our body.

Dr Sangbarta Chattopadhyay and Dr Namita Bhuta are medical practitioners, psychotherapists and life coaches 

Share your problems with them at dr. sangbarta@ gmail. com

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Mind and Body: T2 article dated 20th April 2014

Google 'pseudocyesis'. Commonly known as false pregnancy, it is a fascinating condition.

Women who intensely desire to be mothers but are unable to conceive may develop this condition, where their mind tricks their physical body into believing that they are pregnant. Physiologically, the body mimics the symptoms of pregnancy, such as distension of abdomen, interruption of the menstrual period, changes in the breasts, changes in the cervix, morning sickness and weight gain.

This condition was pretty common before pregnancy tests and ultrasonography came into vogue, and even seasoned obstetricians would sometimes fail to catch the ' con'. Just think about it — if our mind can conjure something as complex as pregnancy and trick our body to initiate the multi- level chemical changes to produce these symptoms, do we really understand how powerful our mind is? And how profoundly it affects, not only our thoughts, behaviour and choices, but also our body? A man wanted to bring his 63- year- old father to us for therapy. At that time, a display board at the place where we practiced read, ' We care for your mental well-being'. The father refused to walk in and left shouting at his son, 'I am not mental'. There is too much fear and taboo attached to

issues related to 'mental health'. Unfortunately, we ignore our emotions and disregard our mental state as having very little or no effect on us.

WHO defines health as 'a state of complete physical, mental, and social well- being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity'. We all know that when we are happy we feel physically charged up and healthy, and when we are sad we feel low and down. Our body is constantly responding to our mind. There are more and more researches showing that diseases have a mental- emotional component. This has led to a new branch of medicine called Mind Body Medicine, which uses the power of thoughts and emotions to influence physical health.

All the commonly heard diseases, like diabetes, hypertension, coronary heart disease and atherosclerosis, are stress- related. The factor causing or aggravating them is long- standing mental and emotional stress. New studies show that contrary to popular belief, most allergies and chronic pain, especially lower back pain, are caused or aggravated by psychological factors. Medication combined with mind- body techniques has shown better results in treatment than just medication alone.

These techniques encourage relaxation, improve coping skills, reduce tension and pain, and in turn lessen the need for medication in various diseases like high- blood pressure,

pressure, coronary heart disease, asthma, cancer, obesity, pain and nausea/ vomiting related to chemotherapy, insomnia, diabetes, stomach and intestinal problems ( including indigestion, irritable bowel syndrome, constipation, diarrhoea, ulcerative colitis, heartburn, and Crohn's disease), fibromyalgia, and menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes, depression and irritability.

In 1989, a clinical study by David Spiegel, MD, at Stanford University School of Medicine demonstrated the power of emotional support to heal. Of 86 women with late- stage breast cancer, half received standard medical care while the other half received standard care plus weekly emotional support sessions. In these sessions, the women were able to share both their grief and their triumphs. Spiegel discovered that the women who participated in the social support group lived twice as long as the women who did not.

Simple relaxation techniques, practice of gratitude and compassion, practice of ancient traditions like yoga, meditation and t'ai- chi which help calm the mind, are gaining more and more interest from research scholars from prestigious medical schools in pursuit of health and happiness.

Dr Dean Ornish's work has proved that comprehensive lifestyle changes along with yoga, meditation and a lowfat diet can actually reverse the changes in the artery in coronary heart disease patients, traditionally considered irreversible. Clinical trials of Dr Ornish's work show better results than the more mainstream treatment modalities like bypass surgery and angioplasty. His current research shows that a relaxed and stress- free lifestyle can ' turn on' disease- preventing genes and ' turn off' disease- causing genes in the human body.

Our mind can be a wonderful ally or a vicious foe, depending on how we treat it. If we want to stay healthy and find happiness, we need to gather courage to look within to be aware of and acknowledge our emotions.

Only then will we be able to befriend our mind. That's what we can try to achieve. At the least we can try.

Dr Sangbarta Chattopadhyay and Dr Namita Bhuta are medical practitioners, psychotherapists and life coaches Share your problems with them at 

dr.sangbarta@ gmail. com

http://epaper.telegraphindia.com

Life as Meditation: T2 Article dated 6th April 2004

It was a hectic week for us. Our teacher, whom we consider an exceptional human being, needed emergency neurosurgery.Over the past two- three weeks, we had been noticing a few changes in him. He told us that he was not enjoying playing the sitar, an instrument that he has played every day for more than six decades, because the strokes were not perfect. He was finding it a little difficult to keep track of the rhythm. He complained that his handwriting was changing. His very sharp mind was not at its best. We dreaded that it could be an irreversible neurological condition. Of course his ever- infectious positivity, sage- like peacefulness and wit made us hopeful and created a certain scope of denial for us. He is 82 years old, so these not- so- obvious symptoms can easily be mistaken as part of a normal ageing process. We suggested to the family members that a neurological consultation was necessary. However, in retrospect we find ourselves questioning if we pushed hard enough. Could we have pushed harder for a neurological scan had we been more objective? Was it possible that a part of us did not want to face what really might be in store? Of course, there was nothing that we could have done that would have changed the outcome. So, what really happens to us when we are faced with a crisis? Do we really see the situation as it is? Or do we respond to the memories of experiences that we have had in the past? And based on these experiences, we try to pre- empt the future outcome? What happens in this process is that we are constantly vacillating between ' what has been' and ' what will be', and are not present for ' what is'. In 2000, pscychologist Joseph Tloczynski studied the changes in perception that accompany mindfulness meditation. He surmised: ' A person who meditates consequently perceives objects more as directly experienced stimuli and less as concepts.' In other words, meditation helps us to see experiences as they are happening in the now, rather than our perceptions of it. The purpose of any authentic meditation is to train and help us be in the NOW, to be better able to see and accept ' what is'. In her book The Blissful Brain , neuroscientist Shanida Natarajan says that a meditative procedure must meet five essential criteria: 1) It must involve a specific technique that is both defined and taught. 2) It must involve, at some stage, progressive muscle relaxation. 3) It must involve, at some stage, a reduction in logical processing. 4) It must be self- induced. 5) It must involve a tool, referred to as an ' anchor', that allows effective focus of the mind. A recent consensus definition of ' mindfulness', which essentially is any authentic meditative process, emphasises two complementary elements: the placement of attention on the immediate experience and adopting an open, curious, and accepting attitude toward that experience. In Indian philosophical texts, the five stages of mind in meditation are described as: 1) Mudha ( Ignorant) — Where one is ignorant of the reality. 2) Ksipta ( Agitated) — As we try to focus, our mind becomes restless, agitated and distracted. We compulsively feel the need to ' escape'. 3) Viksipta ( Scattered) — Our mind becomes scattered and random thoughts, memories take our awareness away from the present. 4) Ekagra ( Attentive) — Finally, we become focused and attentive. We observe more, listen more, and become aware of the present. 5) Nirruddhya ( Restrained) — We are in control of our mind. We know we are not the mind and we do not get swayed by emotions, by our needs or by our defences. We become more cognizant of ' what is' and we flow. Contrary to popular belief, authentic meditation does not consists of mere visualisation and surely does not advocate any dissociation from reality. Neither does it mean you have to be secluded in a room for endless hours. In fact, meditation teaches us to open up more to life itself, to become more objective and less interpretative. There are numerous benefits of mindfulness on issues ranging from medical to psychological — be it stress, anxiety, bipolar disorder, low self- esteem or overall life satisfaction to medical conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and psoriasis. It also reduces the likelihood of developing Alzheimer's in old age. If we consciously choose to be more present in the reality, be more aware of what is happening, observe more before concluding, listen more before interpreting, be open to experience rather than react... if we just try to lower our need to intellectualise all the time and be biased by our own judgements, perhaps life itself can become a meditation. We can then, perhaps ' flow' in life as well. Dr Sangbarta Chattopadhyay and Dr Namita Bhuta are medical practitioners, psychotherapists and life coaches Share your problems with them at  dr. sangbarta@ gmail. com  http://epaper.telegraphindia.com

Demand VS Expectation : T2 Article dated 23rd March,2014

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.       — The Buddha Something that the Buddha said 2,500 years ago is so relevant even today. In the chaotic lives we lead, what we need most is to be saved from ourselves. There's a plethora of books, movies, talk shows and newspaper columns focusing on things which would make us happy, healthy. We now have more options to ' do' things to be happy, more ways to ' mind' our thoughts to be successful, more diet options than we can explore in a lifetime. In fact, we are being for spoilt for choices. The same choices which are supposed to empower us to choose better and give us freedom, unfortunately, paralyse us. We postpone taking a decision and then often never make it. We know perhaps what would make us happy and what is good for us, but we won't do it, or push it back for another day. In his ground- breaking book The Paradox of Choices , American psychologist Barry Schwartz says how with more choices we have actually more reasons to doubt the efficacy of a single choice. A part of us always goes back to the other choices, other situations that did not happen. 'Things could have been better' becomes our mantra. We regret, and this regret takes away the happiness we get from the choices we make. Why is it so? Why can't we be happy with our life? Is it possible that we demand too much from life, from ourselves? When we make a choice, we constantly compare the outcome with the ' ideal' outcome that we imagined. Not only does it stop us from fully experiencing our life, it also creates ' had I done that' regret. We are almost hypnotising ourselves to believe that we are not happy because things didn't go as planned because we made poorer choices. We are constantly synthesising unhappiness inside us and what was once a gentle expectation has now become demand. One of the pioneers of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and the founder of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, Prof Albert Ellis distinguished between demands and expectations. A demand is that which we naturally express as ' must', ' should', ' have to'. We feel devastated, awful when demands are not met. And we overlook the other factors involved over which we have no control. We take it as a law that demands need to be fulfilled ' by any means'. On the contrary when we ' expect' something, we feel disappointed if it's not met. It is easier to let go of the expectation and move on. Distinguish between your demands and your expectations:  Unless you are already enlightened, don't try to convince yourself that you do not have expectations. It's human to expect, and However if this wreaks havoc on your mind and you cannot move on, then it's not an expectation anymore. It has become a demand. DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DEMAND AND EXPECTATION Demand: I must succeed no matter what. I can't even stand the thought of failure. Expectation: I want to succeed, and I put my best foot forward. If I fail it will be disappointing, but I will try harder. Demand: Everybody should always respect me. I cannot function when even one person shows disrespect. Expectation: I expect others to respect me, and it's disturbing when they do not. But I have no control over others; I can do whatever is doable for me and focus on my activities. Demand: My daughter should get maximum marks always, no matter what. I feel horrible as a mother if she does not. Expectation: I wish for my daughter to get excellent marks. It will be disappointing if she doesn't but she can try harder next time. Anyway, she is an excellent painter and a very wellbehaved kid. Challenge your demand: Try to counter all your ' must/ should/ have to', especially when they are causing disturbances within you. Make room for the ' if it does not happen' possibility. It might seem difficult, so be patient with yourself and keep challenging your demands. Practice acceptance: Choose to accept yourself as you are. You do not have to prove or establish your selfworth by ' doing', ' achieving' or being ' approved'. Train yourself for ' Unconditional Other Acceptance'. Whatever other people do and however abominably they act, you can always accept them. This does not mean you should not protest when it's necessary. Accept the sinner, not their sins. Try to acknowledge that you can tolerate what you don't like. You can look beyond the inconvenience of today and perhaps understand that your desires are not what you need , just what you want . Dr Sangbarta Chattopadhyay and Dr Namita Bhuta are medical practitioners, psychotherapists and life coaches. Share your problems with them at dr. sangbarta@ gmail. com http://epaper.telegraphindia.com/paper

Change: T2 article dated 9th March 2014

Humans are supposedly one of the most adaptive species; we all are biologically wired for change. Be it our bodies or our surroundings, change is the only constant. Life gives us enough opportunities to hone our skills to adapt to change — a promotion, a new job, getting married, having a child.

Yet we often find change uncomfortable or difficult. We resist it or shy away from it.

Fear of the 'unknown' grips us and the known devil seems more preferable. We find ourselves stuck in unrewarding relationships, depressing jobs, unsuitable places.

Our comfort zone becomes our cocoon where we find security at the risk of stagnation. Of course this comfort zone gets the better of us eventually; we get bored, we lose our aliveness. So on the one hand, we have this need for security; on the other, as intelligent beings, we need to learn and grow constantly. We need to be on our toes so that we are fully engaged in life and ' present' in every moment. Staying within our comfort zone, we slip into a state of inertia.

Prof Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi of the University of Chicago pointed out that we need challenges in our life. To feel happy, alive and excited or, as he describes it, to feel 'in the zone' our skill sets and the challenges need to be optimally balanced. Depending on the dynamics between these two components, there are different outcomes. If a challenge is met by the full use of your skill sets, you may feel 'arousal', excitement and 'flow'. When the challenge does not fully engage your skill sets, you may feel 'apathy', 'boredom' and often meaninglessness of life.

When the challenge is greater than your skill sets, it may lead to 'anxiety', ' worry' and stress.

So whether you acknowledge your life as a journey or think it's a hamster wheel or a roller- coaster ride, every now and then try to prepare yourself for change, and embrace change. If you practice being comfortable with change, when you actually face change — which you will sooner or later — you will be better equipped to handle it. Here are six steps to keep in mind... 

Change your perception about 'change': 

Change is not bad. It's an opportunity to learn. It might exasperate you initially as you are learning new skills, but if you hold on and trust yourself you will master the art and it will be rewarding.

Challenge your comfort zone: Keep a change diary. Every now and then, give yourself new challenges consciously. Pick up a new hobby, learn a language, and set new attainable goals. Make an effort to come out of your comfort zone. For example, if you are shy or introverted, once in a while push yourself to socialise, maybe go for a party even at the risk of feeling awkward. Give yourself a pat on the back for your effort to step out irrespective of the outcome.

Avoid avoidance: 

Don't fall prey to your mind's avoidance skills to escape change. Negate the excuses consciously and use your decision to come out of your comfort zone and acknowledge change.

Focus on solutions: 

Do not allow yourself to feel like a 'victim' of a change. Instead take charge and be proactive to learn the new skills required to adapt to the change. Be a part of the solution. Trust yourself and enjoy this learning period. Learn to relax, learn to let go of old habits. If you have already trained yourself to cope with small changes, you will find it easier to deal with bigger ones. If you have not, then have faith that life has already trained you to be in charge in the face of change.

Take stock of the new situation: 

Look at the changed situation in a non- biased manner. Avoid drawing parallels to known situations.

Understand the need of the situation. Let go of your past strategies and rules because they may not be applicable in this new situation.

Be kind to and patient with yourself:

Last and most importantly, be kind and patient to yourself. We all have a different pace to adapt to change.

Dr Sangbarta Chattopadhyay and Dr Namita Bhuta are medical practitioners, psychotherapists and life coaches Share your problems with them at dr.sangbarta@ gmail. com

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New Love: T2 article dated 23rd Feb' 2014

Let there be spaces in between your togetherness — Khalil Gibran, on marriage.

After witnessing the Valentine's Day celebrations and attending a cousin's wedding, we got thinking if imagining a fairy tale happily- ever- after actually makes a solid base for a long- lasting and fulfilling relationship.

At the beginning, be it in a relationship or marriage, we look at our partners with unadulterated love and devotion. We ignore things that would otherwise have bothered us, because we are ' in love!' We think we are going to make each other very happy, that we won't be like the couples that fight because we are truly in love. We tend to believe that our love is so special that it will never fade.

Dr Dorothy Tennov, after studying many couples, concluded that the average life span of a 'madly in love' feeling is two years. Eventually we all wake up to reality. The longevity of our relationship depends on how well we cope with this reality.

The reality kicks in when we start noticing how annoying some of our partner's habits are, how hurtful or angry they can be... so irrational at times, often ignorant, insensitive and unavailable. This is the time when bathrooms are left wet and dirty, the lights are never turned off, the wardrobe is left ajar, shoes and socks never find their way to their designated places, and one of the partners is 'always busy and has no time'. This is when we feel that we are 'putting in all the effort' or that our partner is 'insensitive, always complaining, feeling- less' or even 'selfish'. From the world of finding no faults, we end up where a look can hurt, or a word can crush.

So what goes wrong? The root lies in the initial fairy tale period. In our quest for harmony, we start overlooking our personal needs, view points, values and at times even our identities.

We try to create too much 'positivity'. We convince ourselves secretly that our love is so genuine that though our partner is not giving what we need now, they will give later, or will somehow figure and willingly adopt to our value system. That eventually they will have the same priority as ours. We do everything we can to eliminate any significant disagreements.

This creates a false sense of security and builds up our expectations.

We avoid conflicts and pretend or even lie to ourselves that they don't exist. We create a make- believe world for both us and our partner.

In the process, we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn how to deal with these conflicts. Without having developed the confidence and desire to know each other's emotional vulnerabilities and reactions to dissent, we don't learn the tools that those challenges call for. Here are a few tips that will come in handy when you enter a new relationship. 

WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE

Be yourself: You are beautiful as you are. Only when you are yourself will you be able to know who your partner is, their preferences, goals, ambitions and ideas. It may then be easier to find a real common ground.

Respect and love yourself: Do not lose yourself 'in love'. If you don't respect yourself, others may not either. Respecting yourself does not mean that you become rigid. It means you remain true to your identity. We can only feel loved when we love ourselves.

Expecting your partner to make you feel loved all the time may not work in the long run.

Be realistic and open to learn: Expect differences. Be open to learn from them. It will not only strengthen your bond but also widen your horizon.

Express your love: There are many ways to express love — verbally, through touch ( not always sexual), through actions to make them feel cared for, or special by giving gifts, occasionally praising them for their efforts, spending quality time. The idea is to choose the love language preferred by your partner, not what is convenient for you .

Dr Sangbarta Chattopadhyay and Dr Namita Bhuta are medical practitioners, psychotherapists and life coaches Write to them at 

dr.sangbarta@ gmail. com

http://epaper.telegraphindia.com/

Stay Real Stay Positive: T2 Article Dated 2nd Feb' 2014

A student of ours very sincerely told us that when there's a problem, she pretends that the problem does not exist. She believes that the more one thinks and talks about the problem, the more it gets " energised" and gets bigger. She thinks she is being " positive". 

Walk into a bookstore and check out the self-help section, you will find hundreds of books encouraging ' positive thinking'. There are innumerable teachers teaching us to be positive and you only need to go online to find articles, books and studies promising long- standing emotional, physical and even situational benefits of positive thinking. These teachings appear to follow a simple philosophy — ' our thoughts create our reality' — and so they believe and teach that it is possible to change our reality by changing our thoughts.

As empowering as this philosophy may be, the problem is that the teachings are often oversimplified to be understood as ' we just need to think' and things will change. But we conveniently forget the ' act' part of it. We are held captive by our own hopes and paradoxically it paralyses us from taking any action.

College- goer Swati came to us heartbroken. The " love of her life" had turned her down and she could not move on. The following is a part of the conversation with her: 

Therapist: How do you feel?

Swati: I feel devastated and awful.

T: So this boy clearly said he is not available…

S: Yes.

T: So why is it a problem? 

S: Because I can't imagine myself not being with him.

T: So you imagine yourself with him? 

S: Yes, all the time.

T: Even though the boy is not available? 

S: Yes.

T: You want to move on and yet you keep imagining yourself with him.

S: Yes, I guess I am being stupidly hopeful here.

T: So what can you do to move on? 

S: I think I have to let go of this hope first. Guess hope is hopeless for me at this time. [ There is a faint smile on Swati's face] 

Thinking positive doesn't mean we have to stay in a fantasy world. It just means that no matter what the situation we are in, we can find the courage and resources within us to face problems without fear or bias, and with an openness to look for solutions however unpalatable they may appear to be, as in Swati's case.

Whether it is psychology, philosophy or spirituality, all these fields nudge us to acknowledge and see what really is. Only then can we be truly empowered to see the solution and walk towards it.

If you want to get rid of the cockroach hiding in a corner of your house, thinking that it's not there would hardly help. It's only when we acknowledge what we see, can the possibility for a solution arise, be it using a broom to shoo the cockroach away or spraying insecticide.

When faced with a problem, think positive, think realistic. Here are eight questions to help you get a realistic assessment of a problem:

1) What is the problem? 

E.g. I am broke.

2) Why is it a problem? 

E.g. I can't provide for my family.

3) What are the available facts related to the problem? 

E.g. I lost all my money in business.

4) What do you want to achieve? 

E.g. I want financial security.

5) Are you contributing to the problem? Or, are you moving towards a solution? 

E.g. I'm feeling so helpless that I am not doing anything, I am contributing to the problem.

( If you've said yes to the first half of question no. 5, ask — What do you want to achieve? 

E.g. I want financial security.) 

6) What can you do to achieve or come closer to the goal even if it seems like a tiny step? 

E.g. I can look for a job.

7) What skills do you need to develop to do that? 

E.g. I need to learn computers.

8) What is your plan of action for that? 

E.g. I can join a computer course and start looking for a suitable course right now.

If you can write down truthful answers to these questions, it might help you approach your problem with clarity and in turn help solve it.

( Name changed for confidentiality) 

Dr Sangbarta Chattopadhyay and Dr Namita Bhuta are medical practitioners, psychotherapists and life coaches

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